If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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