my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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