I am puke
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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