It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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