he wants to bone in the snuggie
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
