Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
