Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
