We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
