I've blown a few things in my day
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
