honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
