I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
