i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
