I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
