Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
