If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
