Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'm always down for nudity.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
