Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
