white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
We named our party play list daddy issues
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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