if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
