Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
