If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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