Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
