Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
