Will you blow on my dice?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
