I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
