So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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