I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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