He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
