at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize