OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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