I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
