8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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