dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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