Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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