I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
This is the prime rib incident all over again
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
