Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
