so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize