just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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