The maid of honor just puked.
nutella sex= disaster
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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