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• (310): View more from California

  I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him

  (310): View more from California

  its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS

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• (727): View more from Florida

  There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"

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• (530): View more from California

  I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.

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• (661): View more from California

  Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.

  (602): View more from Arizona

  That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night

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