I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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