If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
