Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
