im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
