It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
