Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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