Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
