I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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