Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
