Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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