so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Randomize
