Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize