Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
That's intense
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Randomize