all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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