if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
