I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
