I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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