He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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