did you get engaged???
After last night, I could never be a politician.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
