hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Also, beer. Big fan.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
