drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
