i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
