If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
she smelled like a LAN party
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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