Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Bring me that man meat
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
