Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
