taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
