$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
