if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
