I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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