Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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